Phil Update or Why I Bought a Skeleton

This is a sequel to Behind the Door.  That post should be read first.

I had mixed feelings when I walked into work and saw Phil on my schedule.  Part of me was thinking, ugh, I have to massage that creepy dude for two hours.  Another part of me was more curious, thinking, what is that crazy mofo gonna do toDAY?  And yet another part of me was happy that I’d have a new story to tell you.  And Phil didn’t disappoint.  Here’s what happened.

Oh, and for today’s post I have a guest joining me.  His name is Skinny.


I bought Skinny at the craft store this morning to help me illustrate proper (and improper) massage draping.  Skinny isn’t the perfect model.  He’s all bone and lacks the fleshy parts that round out Phil or any other client.  I was going to buy one of these girls to act as my model.


But I imagined myself walking to the check out counter holding one of these.  Would the matronly check out woman think I was a pedophile? Although I don’t think my gender should matter, I just don’t think one of these dolls is something a six foot three guy with a shaved head and a goatee can buy at a craft store.  It just isn’t.  I thought of some excuses I could give at the check out for why a was buying a little plastic toddler girl.  It’s for my mom — that may very well make it even creepier.  I’m buying it for my daughter — uh-huh.  It’s for an article I’m writing.  But then I realized, it’s the pedophile who would give an excuse like that at the checkout.  Yeah, I left them all hanging there.  I couldn’t do it.  That’s why we’ll be looking at Skinny for the remainder of this hunk of writing.

Most of Phil’s massage went pretty much like it did last time.  It was when he was face down and I was going to work on Phil’s back that he got sneaky.  Skinny is going to demonstrate for us how one is properly draped (covered with sheet and or a blanket) for a back massage).  Of course, this is the traditional way.  I’m sure in Europe or Asia they do it differently.  Some might just cover the birthday suit parts with a towel.  But the place I work is kind of old school and they have rules about draping.  So here is skinny ready for a back massage, not yet undraped.


He is covered with the blanket and underneath the blanket he is covered with a sheet.  The first thing I do is fold back the blanket, like so.


I fold the blanket back further than is necessary just to get it out of the way.  Sometimes I just kind of toss it back.  Since the sheet is there underneath, the blanket isn’t a big deal.  Then I fold back the sheet just to the top of the butt with maybe just the top of the but exposed because it’s important that the sacrum is massaged as part of the back and thats where the sacrum is.  Like so:

FullSizeRender (4)

So there it is — more or less proper draping for a back massage.  It was very difficult to tell where Skinny’s ass was with just the bones so I added some butt cheeks to mimic Phil’s fleshed out ass.

Before I explain how Phil tricked me this time, I’ll show you where Phil normally pushes the draping to.

FullSizeRender (3)

I know, it’s not really a huge difference.  Maybe I and the other massage therapists where I work are just being uptight about the whole thing.  In a different environment it probably wouldn’t even be worth mentioning.  But I am who I am and I work where I work and that is more of Phil’s ass than I want to see.

Anyway, this is what Phil did this time. The sheet and blanket were about half way down Phil’s back to begin with.  It was a warm day and I hadn’t bothered with making sure he was snug and cozy.  As I was finishing up the back of Phil’s legs he was squirming about and moving the sheet and blanket on his back.  I thought he was just trying to get comfortable but what he was doing was pushing the sheet down beneath the blanket where I couldn’t see.  So when I nonchalantly flipped back the blanket, instead of seeing the sheet covering his back I saw this.

FullSizeRender (1)

Some might suggest that this was an accident.  That the sheet had accidentally been pushed down.  That it was PHIL who was the victim of this unfortunate incident.  But I think we all know better. Phil tricked me into seeing the WHOLE ass. What will he do next? Stay tuned.



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